As we learn that our health and wellness doesn't just have
physical elements it’s a good time to reflect on where we struggle and the
areas we need to focus in order to find our own personal balance which will
help lead us to a better overall wellness. What better way to do this than to
do a self reflection and a grading scale?
So, we are to use a scale of 1 to 10 to reflect on three
aspects of our health – physical, spiritual and psychological. Where do I rate
myself?
Physically – I
rate myself a six. I am slightly above the middle or average considering the
average American is obese to morbidly obese with instances of diabetes, heart
disease and hypertension (high blood pressure). I do not have any major health
issues; I usually get sick about once a year when the weather changes and the
kids typically bring it home to me. This year they brought home bronchitis and
the flu and I was able to fight off the flu, but did end up with bronchitis;
albeit a MUCH lesser degree than the other four in my household. I am not
higher on the spectrum physically because I am currently obese even if I am
taking steps to correct that, I am not “there” yet to physical fitness.
Spiritually – I
rate myself a four. I am just below the average American in belief and faith.
Since I was raised within a very restrictive cult/religion when I left home at
16 it has been hard for me to once again find faith in anything of a higher
power. I have my own moral code, but beliefs are a lot harder to consider. I
stay away from spirituality because it is very hard for me to find a balance in
this aspect between still recovering from brainwashing and not being 100% where
I find truth. I am not completely null and void spiritually because I do
believe there is something larger than myself – I am not sure how to explain it
and in my journey of the last 20 years, most religions have left a sour taste
in my mouth. I am scientifically minded, so blind faith isn’t something I am
currently capable of, but I am okay with that. Only time will tell where my
spiritually truly lies.
Psychologically –
I rate myself an eight. I would say that I am above average to my peers. I
currently am an adult survivor of abuse, survived abuse in my teens and again in
my twenties. I have been through a lot of things in life that many people could
not handle and some of my classmates in the same situation are no longer with
me because of taking their own lives. In addition to suffering from major
depressive disorder, PTSD & panic attacks with the least amount of
medication I can take (nothing for depression – and only sometimes for panic
attacks) I am able to keep a household of six people (three of which are
adults) almost entirely by myself while working two part-time jobs, one
full-time job (on third shift), going to school full-time and caring for a
three and a five year old without entirely losing my mind. This doesn’t mean I
don’t have “down” days, or that I am never depressed or sad. It doesn’t mean I
don’t have days where I feel like I’ve hit the wall and have no where to turn
for help. It just means that despite my past, having two children I do not have
with me, one miscarriage and all the dark shadows that occasionally haunt me in
nightmares, I am a survivor not a victim. I choose to look forward instead of
backwards and I choose to think there is still some good in the world when I’ve
seen the dark and ugly side first hand more than once. I think the fact that I
am not a complete cynic makes me fairly strong mentally, despite my occasional
“bad” days.
Goals
Now that I have defined my strengths and weaknesses and
the areas that I need to focus my attention and redirect my energy to
strengthen, how do I do that? I create goals, small attainable goals to lead me
to the place I desire to be in all three aspects of my life that will affect my
well-being. (We won’t touch on financially here since that’s a tangible and
another topic entirely.)
Physically – This
goal is simple and complex at the same time. I plan to continue making the
changes I started January 1st to make this year my most successful
at staying the course. I will continue to work out 6 days a week using either
P90X as I am now or the exercise plan that my friend and author Abby created in
order to work on both cardio and strength training. I plan to not only work on
my personal fitness level, but also my weight and strength. Once I have
attained a healthy weight level I will continue to work out, but I will change
the routine and intensity I work out at to either maintain, or achieve a
different goal (such as muscle definition). I plan to read my newest book by Abby Campbell and change my nutrition as well. The last time I followed her plan I saw a weight loss of 18 pounds in 4 weeks without the addition of exercise.
Spiritually – I
plan to continue my exploration of religion and belief until I find what I feel
“fits” with my personal moral code and belief system. Until then I will continue
to use what I have such as meditation to take much needed “time outs” for
reflection.
Psychologically –
I will learn to put myself first sometimes, and I will seriously reconsider
having a full time and two part time jobs right now with school and two small
children. In addition to spiritually, the personal “time outs” will help me
psychologically. I will make better use of the hours that I have when I am
awake and work on scheduling so that my time-management is better than it has
been in the past. When I use my school book to schedule what days I do what
homework and what activities I have each day I feel a whole lot less “frazzled.”
I will continue to work on living the Serenity Prayer daily, changing what I
can, and giving up what I cannot and attempting to determine which is which in
life. I will continue to work on meditation and living in the moment which is
dual purpose – spiritual and psychological as well.
5 comments:
I admire the way that you turned the assignment into a fully fleshed out blog post. Good writing! I have found that time-management is a really important skill to use. I always print out the to-do list for my classes and check off each item as I complete it. I also work on school for at least 2 hours each day. I try and do it in the morning because once I get it done, I have time to do other things that I want/need to do.
You go girl! P90X, intense workout.
For me, spirituality does not necessarily mean belief in a type of religion; it is connecting to a higher place or believing in something bigger than what is present around me every day. I don’t feel like I have to go to a church service to be connected to this higher power. There is benefit in the support systems that can be in place from organized worship services, but I just don’t feel I need to participate to get the connection to the higher power.
June - I am usually pretty good with organization/time management but sometimes, especially early on in the term I forget how useful it is for me to use my school calendar in order to reduce my stress level over when I need to do what homework. I bought it from Target on sale and it's the type of assignment book a high school student might use, but I love it. It also allows me to work around raising a 3 & 5 year old so that I don't put too much homework in one day and end up with no time to do anything else.
I wish I could work on school two hours every day, but with my jam packed schedule I rarely get that much time where my children are quiet and I am not napping. I often sleep 2-6 hours a day and more often only 4 a day. Luckily I am able to work on my homework some nights at work as well.
I have found that if I do my homework early on in the day, like right after I am off work at 7 am that it makes me more able to sleep without the constant nagging reminder that I have more to do.
I have to admit I was a little worried about writing so much initially because I could have answered each question with a much shorter answer, but I figure we can each pick and choose what blogs to read/comment on so if it's too long our classmates can skip it. :)
Candii – Thank you. This will be my second attempt in two years at P90X. I also have a few other programs that I have tried which happen to take less time of the day and just as motivating. I just really want to do my full 90 days and see how much of a difference I can see physically. Last time I made it two months before the craziness of life started and I allowed it to distract me. This time my 90 days will end on my anniversary and right before my 36th birthday so I am trying to stay focused!
I appreciate your comments on spirituality as well. Many people (especially here in the south) act as though if I am not going to church I’m in the wrong. I've tried several churches since I left the religion I was raised in at 16 and some I just can’t agree with and others were personality conflicts. So I decided to avoid organized religion and be a good person just for the sake of being good. Not because I want a reward or punishment at the end of my life. I am able to connect in a different way with something bigger than myself/a higher power – but I don’t do it as often as I should and I can’t say that I have prayed in almost 20 years. My preferred method of trying to find my way is meditation currently and one of the few things that I can use to “quiet” my mind.
Of course I realize I don’t have all the answers, but this is why I continue my search. I don’t necessarily want something that I am comfortable with, but something that I agree with at a base level would be a good start.
Hi Sandy,
After I stopped participating in the religion of my childhood, I have tried several. All seem to be close, but I just can't do with the judgment that goes along with that part of organized religion myself.
I know you find what you are looking for.
Good night.
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