Since my last post ended up so large when discussing my week thus far and my attempt at universal loving-kindness and random acts of kindness I decided to separate out my integral assessment into a secondary post.
So, when I see the four areas in a circle where we are to see what we need to improve I see a "pie" shape cut into four parts and then sliced down into portions from there. The four main parts are of course Psychospiritual, Biological, Interpersonal and Worldly. Each smaller section are the lines of focus in each fourth of the "pie" where we can focus.
I worked clearing my mind, working towards mindful meditation so that I didn't have to completely quiet the chatter in my mind, but left it in the background.
So what part of my mind-body-spirit needs work? First I needed to try and do an assessment of my mind-body and spirit, where am I now. What is lacking? What needs the most work? I started with the biological aspect of my life since I thought a physical assessment would be the "easiest". What needs work, what is ready for work? After doing a thorough assessment of where I am, I realized that about 3/4's of my "pie" is completely off balanced. How on earth did this happen? There are areas in all four quadrants that need work. It's because I haven't done regular assessments on anything - mind, body or spirit - in a very long time. I've gotten too busy with life to devote or focus any time on myself. Not the healthiest of things, but as a mom, wife, going to work and being a student my own needs often get put at the very bottom of a very long "to-do" list.
So what did I learn? I have aspects of my mind, body and spirit that are out of balance and all need work. I learned that sometimes I am going to need to put myself first or I will never regain balance. Even if I do work on it all, there is no such thing as perfect balance - but having a better balance than I do now is necessary for personal and professional growth as well as overall wellness.
What am I going to focus on? Initially I have to split my focus between psychospiritual and biological. I can't let my physical health fall behind to focus on other areas of my life, but my weakest aspect is my psychospiritual portion. I also need to shift my focus about my job - I absolutely hate it, even though it is easy and for now I must keep it as a "necessary evil", but I need to retrain my thinking some and try to work on not dreading it so much as well. My focus still needs to be on the psychospiritual aspects of my life and working on realizing that religion and spirituality do not have to be entwined. I haven't been in nature or meditated (except for classwork) in a very long time and I need to refresh and unwind.
I need to get outside and alone, and experience the "silence and stillness" a nature walk has to offer. I am no longer close to a natural body of large water (The Great Lakes or an ocean) but I can relax in the woods and on nature trails. I need to get away from my chaotic household and relax and enjoy the outside, non-technical world. This will help me acquire more of a balance by letting me work on my spirituality and giving me a chance to experience stillness in my life - which I have found is an essential component to my mental and physical health. I need to take time to put "me" first, commune, meditate and unwind.
2 comments:
Sandy,
I say since you hate your, just over broke (job) so much why don’t you try using the loving kindness towards everyone on your job. Then become the woodcutter every day, take on that attitude because really even though it may fill the space right now. You still have a choice as to why you keep going back, when you don’t have too.
It's not really the job I hate per se as much as the backstabbing politics that are involved in both my team and my company overall.
Yes there are several people throughout the organization that are excellent and outstanding individuals, but down here "in the trenches" it is very rare and it's a who can stab who to get to the top world. Luckily, since I work third shift and don't have to interact with the rest of my group as often while I am not immune to the "dog eat dog" world - I am often on the sidelines and left alone. I am lucky also that I have a fairly good relationship with my direct manager and believe in working hard and doing a good job which keeps my productivity above my requirements.
I've attempted to show love to others on my job, picking up extra work, covering for them and their work, and it's met with expectations that I do their job so they don't have to which can get trying very quickly.
In addition, the type of work I do is almost all customer complaints, managerial deadlines and some expectations that are impossible to make our customers happy. I can easily offer universal loving-kindness to our customers on the phone because they are frustrated and often in the direct line of "fire" from their customers who are face to face and often irate.
However, my loving kindness towards the others around me who don't appreciate anything that anyone does for them and take advantage of every opportunity to make themselves look better by trying to make everyone around them look worse is by far a mush "harder" task.
I actually don't have a choice as to why I keep going back - I have to. There are no other employment opportunities in my company or my area that will allow me to pay the bills and I have to work. I don't have the option to stay at home, and we do not live outside our means by any choice.
That's one reason I am currently enrolled to get a degree - so that I do have different job opportunities because otherwise there are none in my area. The unemployment rate is high, so I am grateful that I have a job and am able to provide for the 3 children, 3 adults and 4 cats that currently reside in my home - but the strain my current position puts on my emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health can be more than trying at times.
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